Dear Judge Mental Jones,

My parents know I have anxiety, and they just bought a dog, which they know gives me anxiety, what should I do?

Dear Anxiety Dog, 

First of all, your parents are dicks. Huge dicks! Not just for getting the dog, but for not letting you pick the perfect YouTube-ready puppy. These idiots must not know how money-making is accomplished these days. I hope you at least get to name the dog. Make it a cute name so you can start an Instagram with it, or just rename it for Instagram.

I don’t know the full circumstances of this situation, and I’m going to assume they thought would help with your anxiety. The old face your fears deal.

However, your parents didn’t listen to your needs, and that just makes your trust in them disappear. When you have a conversation with them, discuss your trust issues, their lack of empathy toward you, and how this puppy situation will further divide you.

If they don’t listen to that, then you just have shitty narcissistic parents and there’s nothing you can do about that until you’re 18. If this is the case, I’d recommend buying the dog a shirt and re-naming it something they hate. You can always move out, but that would involve a job, and I have a feeling that will cause you even more anxiety right now. But on your behalf, fuck them!

xo Judge Mental Jones